No Afterglow

I'm still tryna wrap my head around the surprise call from someone I didn't expect to hear from anymore. I think it's great though that there aren't any expectations. It only means I am well on my way on the road to completely forgetting.

I have never acknowledged the fact that he hurt me. But he did. His lies were just piercing. They cut deep.
I forgave him though. I accepted everything. I went on with it. Even if there wasn't anything for me.

His fascination of my world kept him coming back for more. But did he really care about me? If he could not care enough about some important people in his life, I knew I don't hold anything at all. He has a talent in doing that. It shouldn't suprise me.
He may or may not know the extent of his selfish ways. It just deeply saddens me that I had to be one of the people who witnessed that first hand.

My patience has worn thin this time around. He wanted to play me on my invitation. The last time we agreed on meeting up, I ended up in tears. I have told him how I felt about being promised something and being left with nothing. And so, as I have learned it the hard way, I made sure this time, I will not push my luck.
I admit though, that I have romanticized our first encounter after not seeing each other after some time. I used to imagine hugging him tightly, maybe kissing him. That didn't happen.  The warmth was gone. Sure, I was happy to see him. And happy he met my friends and my boss. But that was it. That was that.
I do hope he finally realized what he wanted.

We were sitting next to each other. Occasionally holding hands, brushing shoulders, whispering, looking at each other. But it was way different from the past. All of a sudden, it felt like we were strangers. Sad.

End of a Rut

I have been too complacent for my own good. I know I have said about a million times that I will pursue a healthy lifestyle. I've done it before and so why am I having such a difficult time now? I have so many excuses. I think I'm very good at it. Jeeze.  But I may have found yet another reason to finally get back into it. Following an encounter last night that almost shook my world into pieces, I said to myself, I have to take a hold of my life again. I can't just always be happy at the thought that yeah, I certainly don't look my age, but by god, who am I fooling? I can't change the numbers. It would always be that.

Anyway, I have some commitments this coming week and I would have to fix my life from here on.  I am not sure either if I wanted to see certain people at this point. Maybe a detox on that particular area of my life would also be necessary. I need to stop being lazy from now on. LOL.

By this time, if I had stuck to the kind of discipline I used to have, I may have achieved 'greatness'...hahaha. But it's never too late. And so I will have to document this. Thank god for new opportunities. At least in those areas, I won't have to worry too much. I can pretty much focus on my health this time around...So help me god! LOL.

Post Scripting The Months

As expected, I have been MIA for the past few months...And from the last post I did to this day, of course, so many things have happened. 

This year proved to be quite full of surprises. I got to go to the US, I quit my day job, met a few people. These are really big things to me. It's not everyday that you get to travel that far, nor let go of your comfort zone. And let strangers come in to your life. 

The emotions have become bigger and more felt and more than I could ever imagine. 

TRIP OF A LIFETIME

Last December, I met up with two of my best buds in college, Connie and Claudette. Connie has been working in the US for two years already and her contract will end by June 2014. Claudette, meanwhile, is a teacher in Singapore. We've always wanted to see Connie's place since we learned about it and promised to come and visit. Pressured and rattled, Claudette and I decided to finally start doing the legwork the soonest possible time. 

By March, we already got our visa appointments. Claudette was a week ahead of my sked. So when she got hers, the pressure on me became even far greater. I have been burnt once by my Canadian Visa denial a few years back. And so this really made me more extremely anxious. But despite the anxiety attack, I got my 10 years!!! Woot!!!

By April, I got my ticket!!! Original plan was just to go around California and then through the East Coast going to New Jersey and New York. However, my brother and sister wanted to see me and so I had to squeeze in some trips in my 20 day journey to the land of milk and honey. So California, Seattle, Florida, New Jersey and New York. Not to mention a few hours stopovers at North Carolina and yeah, in Hong Kong. First time to travel to the US and alone, and first time to go through several airports. Whew. 


EARLY RETIREMENT

It wasn't easy to just let go of your comfort zone. I have been working for trapik.com for 14 years and it was a lil sad to finally have to bid adieu. A month prior to my trip to the US, I was told about the impending demise of the company. In line with that, downsizing was the first step. And there I was, a lil embarrassed to ask a coworker to cover me while I bask in my US sojourn. But I didn't have to anymore since I got me an offer that would forever change my life. 

I signed up for the early retirement. I have been meaning to leave but just couldn't because it was like second nature to me. It was an easy job. The tough part was the waking up and getting to work, but what I was supposed to do was peanuts that I could do it blindfolded.

PEOPLE ARE PEOPLE

I opened myself up to the possibility of meeting new people. It was just kind of funny though that I had to rely on certain 'social networking sites' for this. I have a lot of friends but it wouldn't hurt to know more, right? So I signed up on certain sites not really hoping to find anything more than just getting to know people. Whatever happens next, well, happens.

I did meet a few interesting ones. One went to the house at 3 in the morning. The other I got to go on road trips with, while there's this other one who I get to have after midnight treats with. 3am guy was a kindred spirit. The road trip bud was a sweet, funny and thoughtful guy whilst after midnight dude was fun and funny and really cute. And although these 3 are the most memorable ones I've met, I will not get into details as to why I would never end up with any of them. 

3am guy has faded away, and it seems road trip bud is following suit. I am left with after midnight dude but we have barely scratched the surface on who we are. In short, he has yet to be honest about himself. 

A friend has expressed alarm for my guiltless nature in dealing with after midnight dude. I am aware. I am quite sure this will not lead to anything more. So why stay? I am just in it for the distraction and maybe, amusement? I know, my bad. 

I miss my road trip bud though the most. Of the three, he was the one who really poured his heart out and showed genuine concern. And yes, he was the one I got to hang out with the most. It saddens me on how we are now. But I will forever be grateful. 


FUTURE TENSE

There are a lot of issues to deal with in my life but I am truly and deeply burdened by something that I shouldn't even be thinking about. I have decided that I will not exert any more effort to fix it. Hell, I don't even know why it turned out the way it did. But one thing's for sure, it's all too sad for me and I'm walking away.

Enter the Horse...

My birth month is almost over. Gawd, I can't believe I'm this old. Thankfully, it hasn't really caught up to me and I don't look it. Hahaha. But seriously, 2013 has been quite a ride for me. So many surprises that truly caught me off guard. But just the same, I understand that everything happens for a reason, of which like most, I have no clue yet. It's a good thing that I am the patient kind. 

I've read about my luck for the Year of the Horse. Having been born  under the Rabbit sign, it's looking up according to the horoscope. In terms of career and love life, I would be pretty lucky this year, however, I may have to watch out for my health as I may turn out sickly this kicking 2014. And true enough, a few days before the New Year, I get terribly sick with the sniffles. Just before my birthday (January 10th), I also got sick with some strange illness that almost got me confined in the hospital. I dunno what's going on with my health but it's really something I should address right now. I signed up for a gym and I was only able to go about 3 times this month and the month is almost over...what??? I had a fitness test and I felt like I totally failed that since a few hours after I could hardly walk straight. Man, I used to do a lot of those back at Sky Fitness and I do a few in my new gym and I almost died...That's how bad my fitness condition is. 

I have a pending operation for my finger which has been pushed back even further with all the events happening at work. Darn this. I dunno why I can't seem to just get on with the program and start ticking off the box of my really important to do list. I am a total mess. Extra work seem to manage to shake up my focus because after all, that's extra money and uhm, I can't say I would say no to the blessing, right?

The start of the year was definitely quite a surprise. In my day job alone, there have been some changes. I no longer do the things I used to do and really do excellent at. However, I got me another regular gig and a promising new segment and so much room for improvement for the show this year. I met new people who now know of the services I can render and so many opportunities are definitely going to come my way.  There are just so many things to be had. And I would say it may be a lil steady right now and not rolling in quite smoothly YET but I know it'll pick up. 

On the other aspects of life, well, I would have to wait and see. With the bio clock ticking, the pressure is there but I am not going to be affected. Thankful for the other distractions and much grateful for the love and friendship I have been getting from the people that matter most. 

The Split Screen

Recently, I got depressed about my fitness rut. I seem to have hit the wall and got stuck and unable to keep up with the goals I have been trying to sustain for the past months. 

I feel I shouldn't use my injury as an excuse, but yes it has indeed affected every single thing about my life. 

I prolly need to remind myself how far I've gotten so I can keep on pushing. Hence this post. 

As you can see I am the only one really big in the family. I was told that it was sort of a blessing/curse of my mom's side of the family. Each of them siblings had one kid who would be bigger and heftier than the others. I just happen to be "THE ONE" for our family. 

But I've done something about it. Still a work in progress but I know and I believe that it's worth doing as it is a gift for me.

Oh well, I am starting to get emotionally riled up by this.  But we all need THIS I suppose to keep going and going with life...

We get frustrated alright but that shouldn't be a valid reason to just throw in the towels and just give up.

So what keeps you going? I hope you find one reason enough to be worth all the trouble...

The Great Fitness Reboot...

So around early 2012, I involved myself in some intense fitness campaign with my buds from Mellow and we dubbed it as KPR..or Katawang Pang Romansa which translates to Body (fit) for Romance... Yes, I have dreamed of losing the gut, the flabs and the extra jigglies around different parts of the body.  And I would say, I have achieved quite a lot in doing so. Thanks to my awesome trainers from Sky Fitness and also from Elorde's Boxing Gym in Ortigas. However, things happened and I am unable to do those things anymore. But that's not to say and never reason enough to stop doing it all together. 

with my former partner in the show, DJ Marco

There have been many challenges that hampered my continued progress but thank god also for Envie Slim and Sculpt because at least they have consistently made it possible for my core to still take on the pressure and still be strong enough.

Anyway, following my 4 months and counting of rehabilitating my fingers, I am strong to my resolve to go back and gear up for a fitness reboot. I have to go back and realign my fitness goals. And I am slowly but surely going that way. I already convinced my co-worker/friend from my day job to take advantage of the free gym in our office building. We managed to do a couple of sessions already doing the almost non equipment workouts since there are only limited equipment in that said gym. And then there was a pool. Maybe, just maybe I can start building my confidence to learn to swim again.  Meanwhile, my former gym bud has invited me to try out body combat in his gym in Megamall. And oh boy, I couldn't express how happy I was especially that I have been missing boxing for so long now. 

So the day after that body combat boot camp, my body is feeling sore as of writing. The kind of sore that I want and miss. And yes, I'm doing okay and yeah, couldn't wait to check out some off my fitness list. 

Hopefully, in 3 months time, I am about 20 lbs lighter and stronger...Keeping my fingers crossed!!!

It's got to be done!!! And it will be...oh yeah, it will be!!!

Paint me baby, One More Time...

I used to not be a fan of painting nails. I have worn mine plainly clean and simple. I even do my own manicure and pedicure at home.

And then I was introduced to the concept of spas. From massages to foot spas, they were my way of relaxing.

Eventually, I got to try painting my nails. But I would usually just have it on my toes. I tried having it on my fingers nails, but it would always chip off and it was such a hassle for touch ups.

I would go to different nail salons wherever I would end up with my spa buds. I didn't have a regular place to get it done until I found one near my office in Ortigas.  I would patronize that place until one of the nail technicians kind of butchered my fingers.


It took awhile for me to go back there, but I still did for lack of any place more convenient to go to..

Until last year, 2012, when I discovered a nail salon just right at the corner near our home. Right in neighborhood was a great discovery! Japanese buffing stone? That kind of intrigued me too. Not to mention that they were really affordable to. I just had to try it for myself.

Of course I got their signature foot spa and maniped. I was satisfied with the foot spa service since they didn't really hurt my sole with they way they slough off the rough skin. And then their cleaning routine. It's very tedious and thorough. Something that definitely pleased me and was reason enough for me to keep coming back.

The first few times, I wasn't serviced yet by their premier nail technician, Aika, but eventually she did and boy, did I always want to have my nails painted. She does a great job every single time. Very meticulous and really clean, I don't mind if it took her like an hour or so to finish my fingers and my toes. She is one gifted technician and believe me, she's really that thorough that your maniped should last you longer til the need to clean them nails again. And it doesn't have any rough edges, so you can really tell that it was done the way it should.

It was inevitable that more and more color combinations would pop in my head. And for the first time, I tried wearing red. Yes, I have always been afraid since to my thinking, it would make my hand look dark or it wouldn't really suit me at all.  But I was wrong. As it has become such a sexy sexy statement.

I would also eventually start buying my own nail colors. And the one thing I really like about going to GivMeBuff Nail Lounge is that, even if I have cheap nail colors, they still look like they're pricey because it was beautifully applied onto my nails.

The possibilities are just about endless when it comes to nail art.  I am constantly trying on new hues and shades and even textures. To me having nail art, is like an expression of my inner sentiments. It's like I'm reaching in to my artistic side with every thought of what specific color scheme I should go for. Like I'm trying to convey certain emotions and feelings at that very moment through my color choices.

I couldn't say it enough, but I really really love how they treat their clients. Very accommodating and very homey, you'll feel really special. And oh another must try in their salon is their massage. Yes, at 200 pesos, it was quite  a treat. Truly satisfied.

Go check em out the corner of Assistant Street, GSIS Village in Project 8 and their numbers are posted below on the flyer.

So, have you thought about your color combination yet??? *wink, wink*