Sunday, July 19, 2015

Refreshing the Page...

I have always been happy for other people. I was not brought up ruining other people's moment. I've always treated people with respect regardless of age, social background and all that. 

Today, I've learned to be happy for this one person that made me happy for a while and then confused me and just made me sad and even hate myself at one point. 

I have long forgiven him though and even made an effort to give it another shot. Even at that point, I knew I was the only one really interested in giving it a shot. Why did I bother? I'd usually ask myself that. Maybe because I was always willing to give people a chance to redeem themselves. But to them, it was who they really are. So no matter how many chances I'd give them, things will remain the same. Because I was never enough reason to be at their best version. That's all there is to it.

Seeing him happy now made me understand better. That I was not the one who could give it to him. And even if I knew in my heart he couldn't do the same for me, I tried to make it work because he was there, we were there and it was maybe worth trying. If only he felt the same. I thought he did. But I couldn't get past certain things about him. And never found out the other things he can actually do. 

I am not trying to convince myself that I'm happy because I should. I am genuinely secure of how I feel now. I just needed to see that one last picture before I say my real goodbye.

Thank you. My list isn't as long as your exchanges with your significant other. How can it be?

If and when I see or hear from you again, I'd say thank you. It was never a waste of time. There was a reason. And we may never know, but maybe it had to happen. 

Good luck and hopefully some good plan from your end. Everyone deserves to be happy.