As expected, I have been MIA for the past few months...And from the last post I did to this day, of course, so many things have happened.
This year proved to be quite full of surprises. I got to go to the US, I quit my day job, met a few people. These are really big things to me. It's not everyday that you get to travel that far, nor let go of your comfort zone. And let strangers come in to your life.
The emotions have become bigger and more felt and more than I could ever imagine.
TRIP OF A LIFETIME
Last December, I met up with two of my best buds in college, Connie and Claudette. Connie has been working in the US for two years already and her contract will end by June 2014. Claudette, meanwhile, is a teacher in Singapore. We've always wanted to see Connie's place since we learned about it and promised to come and visit. Pressured and rattled, Claudette and I decided to finally start doing the legwork the soonest possible time.
By March, we already got our visa appointments. Claudette was a week ahead of my sked. So when she got hers, the pressure on me became even far greater. I have been burnt once by my Canadian Visa denial a few years back. And so this really made me more extremely anxious. But despite the anxiety attack, I got my 10 years!!! Woot!!!
By April, I got my ticket!!! Original plan was just to go around California and then through the East Coast going to New Jersey and New York. However, my brother and sister wanted to see me and so I had to squeeze in some trips in my 20 day journey to the land of milk and honey. So California, Seattle, Florida, New Jersey and New York. Not to mention a few hours stopovers at North Carolina and yeah, in Hong Kong. First time to travel to the US and alone, and first time to go through several airports. Whew.
It wasn't easy to just let go of your comfort zone. I have been working for trapik.com for 14 years and it was a lil sad to finally have to bid adieu. A month prior to my trip to the US, I was told about the impending demise of the company. In line with that, downsizing was the first step. And there I was, a lil embarrassed to ask a coworker to cover me while I bask in my US sojourn. But I didn't have to anymore since I got me an offer that would forever change my life.
I signed up for the early retirement. I have been meaning to leave but just couldn't because it was like second nature to me. It was an easy job. The tough part was the waking up and getting to work, but what I was supposed to do was peanuts that I could do it blindfolded.
PEOPLE ARE PEOPLE
I opened myself up to the possibility of meeting new people. It was just kind of funny though that I had to rely on certain 'social networking sites' for this. I have a lot of friends but it wouldn't hurt to know more, right? So I signed up on certain sites not really hoping to find anything more than just getting to know people. Whatever happens next, well, happens.
I did meet a few interesting ones. One went to the house at 3 in the morning. The other I got to go on road trips with, while there's this other one who I get to have after midnight treats with. 3am guy was a kindred spirit. The road trip bud was a sweet, funny and thoughtful guy whilst after midnight dude was fun and funny and really cute. And although these 3 are the most memorable ones I've met, I will not get into details as to why I would never end up with any of them.
3am guy has faded away, and it seems road trip bud is following suit. I am left with after midnight dude but we have barely scratched the surface on who we are. In short, he has yet to be honest about himself.
A friend has expressed alarm for my guiltless nature in dealing with after midnight dude. I am aware. I am quite sure this will not lead to anything more. So why stay? I am just in it for the distraction and maybe, amusement? I know, my bad.
I miss my road trip bud though the most. Of the three, he was the one who really poured his heart out and showed genuine concern. And yes, he was the one I got to hang out with the most. It saddens me on how we are now. But I will forever be grateful.
There are a lot of issues to deal with in my life but I am truly and deeply burdened by something that I shouldn't even be thinking about. I have decided that I will not exert any more effort to fix it. Hell, I don't even know why it turned out the way it did. But one thing's for sure, it's all too sad for me and I'm walking away.