Monday, April 27, 2015

It's a little too sunny in Phili...

Not one of them bright cheery Sundays one looks forward to every time. Mine started sucking. But at least there was a football match that made it a wee bit better. Otherwise, it would've just totally tanked!

I got driving as a therapy to most 'feel bad, feel sad' situations. Believe me, I'm no drama queen so I'd rather just literally drive my emotions away.  I don't really wanna be around people too. My mistake was I tried to connect to one and as expected, I felt even worse. I know this person was quite clueless as to what was done and what was happening. I will never blame this being for being himself.  

Anyway, after all the driving and trying to recount the steps from what I did last Saturday, I found myself in Chinatown for a bit then, drove again...around the bay area. Then around the valley...I was burning quite a few liters, not to mention my treads. I was just totally sad, I guess. I was actually screaming my heart out inside the car. Cray-zy...but it kinna helped me cope. Cuz I was just totally pissed and out of it. 

There was a bit of retrospecting that happened whilst sitting in the dark corner of that coffee shop in that hilly part of the metro. It wasn't good. I mean the idea of retrospecting was good, but what came out was just even more depressing if I may say so...

Here we go again with that cycle of being not good enough. It's a tough one to deal with. Why am I always faced with situations with people who would make me feel so inadequate, under qualified...and yeah, plain not good enough...bruh!

I am not hating. I just prolly need to slow down on the caring part...Certainly cannot expect everyone to be appreciative...

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