So the silence was broken. If only for a brief exchange of messages...everything just came rushing back. The emotions- sadness, longing, disappointment, missing... So many questions that I just didn't bother to ask. I thought I shouldn't ruin the moment.
I lost him. I had the feeling. And it took awhile for me to finally accept it. More sadness, more disappointment, more missing..and yes, more longing.
But ultimately, it's for the best. And as I struggled to compose a final message to question and apologize at the same time- I got my validation. That it was indeed over and I could now try to pick up the pieces and charge everything to experience.
They say experience is always the best teacher. But of course, it doesn't guarantee that it would be pain-free... When you come to think of it, yes- it's full of hurtful things.
I sometimes have a feeling that he's reading this. Or someone close to him, had.
And if I had a chance to speak to you and tell you something, it will be just to thank you. Life wouldn't be as interesting and as colorful if you didn't come to my life...it was beautiful- whatever I thought I had with you.
My friend was right in saying that you'd leave a scar. That you'd hurt me emotionally and psychologically because you have a knack of hurting people and not care about it if it means saving yourself from trouble.
I forgive you...and I'm going to try my very best to forget you.