Sunday, November 30, 2014

Wrapped Heart...

I say it's never easy. But I am grateful for the little victories I make each time I am able to stop myself from reaching out to you...

Today, I've thought about you about a gazillion times. But no amount of missing will push me to reconnect and bring back what was lost but was never mine to begin with.

I often wonder if I ever did matter to you. Or I appeal more to the curiosity and nothing more. Whenever I think of that possibility, I get sad. But it's got to hurt at some point. I just wish it wasn't this painful.

I'm giving up. There's nothing to hold on to. I wish you well wherever you are. I am sorry but I can't wait for you to make up your mind, if you haven't yet. If ever you did, then I know that you didn't choose me, or our possibility. But don't worry about me- I am so used to this. Anyway, I don't expect you to worry about me anymore. I have fully accepted that part. It just hurts too much sometimes. But I know I'll survive. 

There was never a day I didn't miss you. But I am doing this because your happiness is much more important than mine. 

I wrapped a gift that will forever remain untouched and unopened... It's not something you may need...it's never what you wanted. 

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